To Wong Fu, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar

Author's Rating:

Pros: One of the two Classic Drag Movies. A morality tale of acceptance.

Cons: May cause an urge to wear a boa.

The Bottom Line: 
This is one of the funniest movies made in the last twenty years. It also has a powerful message of love and tolerance.

Author's Review
To Wong fu, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar

Directed by Beeban Kidron, starring Patrick Swayze, Wesley Snipes, and John Leguizamo.

This film is the Misadventures of the Co-Winners of the New York City Drag Queen of the Year, Miss Vida Boheme (Swayze,) Miss Noxzema Jackson (Snipes,) and their protégé, Senorita Chi Chi Rodriguez, as they set out across America in a 1967 land yacht.

As they progress, Chi Chi has many lessons to learn to stop being a little Latin boy in a dress, and gain the status as a true Drag Queen. There are, as she is informed by the Duchess of Protocol Noxzema, four steps to becoming a full fledged Drag Queen. The first she learns is this; Let good thoughts be your sword and shield.

Auntie Vida and Auntie Noxy also have many things to learn. When they are debating stopping at a motel, fearing persecution, Chi Chi plunges in. They are greeted warmly, and blend into the Women’s Basket Ball Convention. This teaches Chi Chi step two to utter fabulousness; Ignore Adversity.

Then things take a turn for the worse. They run in to Sheriff Dullard. Played by Chris Penn, this is everybody’s nightmare traffic stop. When the Sheriff is busy molesting Vida, we get to hear that famous line, “Hey, buddy, get your hand off my D---!” Vida, prompted by fear shoves Dollard, possibly killing him. The girls ride on, until the car decides to die at the next rest area.

Their next stop, Snidersville.

Snidersville is one of those tiny little farm communities stuck in the middle of nowhere. Bobby Ray (Jason London), their rescuer, introduces them Virgil (Arliss Howard) and Carol Ann (Stockard Channing.) who own the town garage/hotel. Their car is not fatal, but the part will not be available until Monday, and its Friday.

The characters in this little town are amazing; all the more so, because I have met every one of them. Clara (Alice Drummond) ran the movie theater until her husband ran off and left her with the film distributor. Now she doesn’t talk, just looks at scrap books of the stars of Yesteryear. Beatrice (Blythe Danner) runs the local restaurant, and is the town gossip. She has an unrealized crush on Jimmy Joe,( Mike Hodge) the black cook. Loretta (Beth Grant) is ‘another sad case. Took to bottle as soon as she could swallow. Her daddy used to call her baby ugly.’

As the girls try to occupy themselves, they interact with the locals, with profound effect. Noxzema, trying to return a picture that Clara dropped, discovers their mutual love of Dorothy Dandridge movies. And, prompted by Noxy’s ramblings, begins to talk again. Vida, in her effort to live the life of a New York Socialite no matter where she is, has a Day With The Girls. The net effect is a total make over on the towns over 40 female populations, reigniting the embers of their self esteem, a quick conversion of the greasy spoon into a chic café, and the re-imaging of the local Strawberry Social into a theme Party: Wild and Red.

Chi Chi, rescued from the Testosterone Squad by Bobby Ray, begins to have feelings for him, and he for “her.” It could be a sweet fling, except for one thing; Bobby Lee, (Jennifer Millmore) Carol Ann’s oldest daughter has a crush on him.

Vida is compelled by her heart to interfere in Virgil and Carol Ann’s abusive relationship, which causes problems with her and Noxy, who is of the opinion that perhaps she should mind her own business, a sentiment shared by Chi Chi, since Vida is also down on her for pursuing a romance with the unsuspecting Bobby Ray.

But Vida puts her foot, and the smack, down on Virgil. Chi Chi realizes that she loves Bobby Ray too much to lie to him or to use him, and does the right thing. This is step three Abide By The Rules Of Love.

All looks to be set to rights, right? Wrong. Possibly dead Sheriff Dullard has been hunting for them….

The theme of this movie is Attitude is Everything. And that in many ways is true. While they would have been safer and in Hollywood faster if they had taken the Toyota Carolla, it does come down to the age old question, style or substance. That land yacht landed them exactly where they needed to be.

Without Vida, Carol Ann would be stuck in an abusive marriage. Without Carol Ann, Vida would not be able to channel her inner man when needed.

Without Noxzema, Clara would still be trapped in her shell. Without Clara, Noxzema would also be isolated in her own little narcissistic little world. Also, without Noxy the Town Boys would still be thugs, and Noxy would not be half so strong.

Without Bobby Ray and Bobby Lee, Chi Chi would be stuck in the self destructive rut of using men, instead of nurturing love where ever she may find it. And with out Chi Chi, and the others, Bobby Lee would not have made her transformation into Roberta.

The town of Sniderville learned to open their hearts, to open their eyes, to be a little silly, and not worry who might laugh. The Drag Queens learned to be more open, and to give people the chance to surprise them.

Think good thoughts, imagine good things happening, then make them happen.

To recap, what are the four steps to utter fabulousness?

Let Good Thoughts Be Your Sword and Shield.
Ignore Adversity.
Obey the Rules of Love.
Live Larger than Life, The Perfect Size.



Gay Movies:

La Mission***Burnt Money***8: The Mormon Propo$ition***In The Flesh***The Sensei***The 24th Day***Wrangler: Anatomy of an Icon***ZMD: Zombies of Mass Destruction***East Side Story***Dorian Blues***Creatures From the Pink Lagoon***Satyricon***Ice Men***Richard O'Briens Rocky Horror Tribute Show***Prom Queen***The Kids are All Right***Between Love and Goodbye***The Mudge Boy***That Man: Peter Berlin***A Single Man***Almost Normal***Outing Riley***Outrage!***Law of Desire***Love is the Devil***Cowboy Junction***Horror in the Wind***Bedrooms and Hallways***Cut Sleeve Boys***Big Eden***For A Lost Soldier***Midnight Cowboy***Redwoods***The Massuer***Boy Culture***Breakfast With Scot***The Fluffer***Flesh***Little Ashes***L.I.E. ***Dorian Gray***9 Dead Gay Guys***Shank***I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry***Beautiful Boxer***Bangkok Love Story***Schoolboy Crush***Shelter***Back Soon***Dog Tags***Theft***The Mulligans***The Velvet Goldmine***Swashbuckler***Smoke Signals
***C'Thulhu***Milk***The Picture of Dorian Gray***Brideshead Revisited***Notes on a Scandal***RocknRolla***Mamma Mia!
***Priscillia: Queen of the Desert***The History Boys***Brokeback Mountain***The Broken Hearts Club*** Yaji and Kita: Midnight Pilgrims ***Surge of Power ***In & Out ***Mambo Italiano ***Touch of Pink ***To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar ***Wolves of Kromer ***Rocky Horror Picture Show ***Taboo ***Deathtrap 


Gay Themed Series:

Spartacus: Blood and Sand
Dante's Cove
Hex
Carnivale Season One
Carnivale Season Two
Rome Season One
Rome Season Two
True Blood
True Blood: Season Two
The Book of Daniel: The Complete Series
Torchwood: Children of Earth
Torchwood: Season One


Gay Animation:

Pirate's Booty***Sensitive Pornograph***Loveless: The Complete Series***Loveless: Hope on the Run***Loveless: Soul of Chains***Loveless: Lost and Found***Embracing Love: A Cicada in Winter***Embracing Love: Cherished Spring ***Stonewall & Riot***Drawn Together Movie: The Movie***Drawn Together: Season 2***Drawn Together: Season 3