To Kidron, and Beeban, Thanks for Everything, Jessica Eastwood

Author's Rating:

Pros: Drag Queens, Comedy, Cameo's, and Justice.

Cons: None.

The Bottom Line: 
Get this movie if you want happy giddy comedic entertainment, and lessons on how to be utterly fabulous.

Author's Review
What to do when I'm chilling with my favorite gay boy Ben on a rainy thursday? Watch a Drag Queen movie of course! We decide on "To Wong Foo..." since we've watched "Priscilla Queen of the Dessert" a few too many time's in a row. We get cuddely and crack open some SUBLIME malt liquor drink (which I'd write a review on if it was listed) and get ready. (Kidron and Beeban are the directors of this movie.)

Opening scene, we are treated to Vieta (swayze) and Noxy (snipes) beautifying and getting ready for the Drag Queen of the Year competition. Noxy looks to die for in her long gold eyelashes, and Vieta slips on her commanding red wig, as they each sit in their rooms in front of their vanitys, and the super suave song "Body Beautiful" by Salt n Peppa plays. Switch to Chichi (leguizamo) clomping through the ghetto holding her wig as toughs yell rude comments at her, she too is on the way to the competition.

The Queens are all on stage performing, and we are shown the audience, wich is full of all the real life big wigs of the gay/drag scene. We see Lady Bunny presiding, who is the organizer of real life annual Drag Queen Fest "WIGSTOCK".

(Many of the other contestants in the movie are performers at wigstock. You can find a recording of Wigstock (1994's festival I believe) at most movie stores.)

Last years winner is lowered to the stage on a swing, looking like gold, it's RuPaul! She anounces there's a tye! Noxy and Vieta have both won! They work the catwalk as Chichi runs off the stage in tears. Rupaul anounces that they have won two round trip tickets to hollywood, so they can take part in the Drag Queen of the Universe awards.

Noxy and Vieta find Chichi sitting on stairs crying after the competition is over.

(Vieta)::Noxyyy, why is that little latin boy in drag crying?::

(Noxy)::Little latin boy in drag, why are you crying?::

Chichi tells them how much she wanted to win, and how she wishes she was as beautiful as them, and Vieta talks Noxy into letting Chichi come with them to Hollywood.

The girls go to what appears to be a very popular cafe, they are greated with applause, for their victory, and theres a cameo by Naomi Cambell as she grabs Noxy's arm and says "I wish I was as beautiful as you."

They sit and are immediatly joined by (Robbin Williams) Vieta's friend who hooks them up with a used car, while he flirts with Chichi. (since they need to cash in their two tickets for the three of them to find a way to hollywood). As they babble excitedly about the trip, Vieta is powdering her nose, and notices, in her compact mirror, sitting behind her on the shelf a beautiful vintage photo of Miss Julie Newmar, which is autographed "To Wong Foo, thanks for everything, Julie Newmar."

They choose an old beat up convirtable from the car lot, and take off on their voyage. Chichi gets an attitude, and Vieta and Noxy "read" her, and inform her that she is merely a boy in drag, and must complete the "four steps to utter fabulousness"

They happen to go through Vieta's hometown on their road trip. Vieta pulls up in front of a huge mantion, and announces that this is her home.

(chichi)::Ooo mami why'd you give all this up?::

(noxy):: Vieta gave this up to be Vieta.::

An older lady comes out on the porch, and we are to understand that this is Vietas mother. She and Vieta look each other in the eyes, and the lady gets a disgusted look of recognition on her face and goes back in and slams the door. Vieta's face falls and she tears up the map and throws it out the window.

(Vieta)::Maps are cheating!::

After much driving, a stay at a hotel where they were mistaken for female basketball players, and much hilarious gay diolauge, the girls are pulled over by a cop, in the middle of the night, in some hick town.

(Vieta)::Oh what in gay hell?!?!:: (one of many great lines)

The cop (sherrif Dollard) makes some racist comments, and then forces Vieta over to his car. He questions Vieta, and she tells him that they are three career girls on their way to hollywood, which he scoffs at, and tells her, I know what you career girls want, and tries to sexually assault her. She, being a pretty buff queen, punches him, and he falls down, and stays down. Chichi and Noxy rush over, in their confusion they think hes dead, and take off in such a hurry that Chichi loses a shoe.

They drive for awhile, and then, grim and depressed, they stop at a rest stop to redo their makeup. This cheers them up, but that ends when the car wont start. Chichi shows some leg on the highway, and a young hick dude in a cowboy hat and truck picks them up and brings them to town, which consists of a few houses and buildings. It's the middle of the night, but the hick boy, who's name is Bobby Ray, calls up in the window of a beaten down old house and asks for virgil, who goes with his tow truck to get the girls car. As Virgil is off getting the truck, the girls are brought to a room in his house, his wife, Caroll Anne brings them to the "presidential sweet" for they run a small B and B, hick style.

Next morning the girls find out their car wont be fixed until monday, and it's only saturday. They cause a scene, and the small town folk are all standing around looking drab and stupid and confused (a stereo type I've ALWAYS loved). Too *duh* to figure out why these three women are so tall and large and small breasted, a group of town tuff guys starts to basically sexually harrass the girls, in order to escape that drama, Vieta, Chichi, and Noxy, decide to chill with the town women, who are nice and amiable. One old lady, who they say is crazy and cant talk, walks by carrying a photo album, and a picture falls out of the album, but the old lady just keeps walking. Noxy jumps up and grabs the picture and chases after her, eventually ending up at her house, where they bond.

Later, Vieta and Noxy are bored, and wander into the town cafe, which is run by Billy Bob, the only black resident of the town. Chichi is busy frolicing in the woods with Bobby Ray, who has a giant crush on her. Vieta asks the ladys what they're doing, and they inform her of the "Strawberry Social" the biggest "happenings 'round these parts". Vieta, who you will see loves to be in charge of things, decides that the social needs a theme, Noxy says the theme should be, obviously, red and wild. They decide to help out these style less women and have "a day with the girls" one of the local ladies own a beauty shop, and they do their hair and makeup, they then go to the only clothing store, where a nice young man with a stutter works, and they find old seventies clothes in the attic. The ladies are completely redone, they look fierce, and the town tuff guys resurface, being sleazy at the women. Noxy's had quite enough of this. She assaults the ringleaders genitals and makes him apologize to the women in front of his friends. Me and Ben are laughing so much we allmost spill our precious booze.

Meanwhile, Sherrif Dollard is getting laughed at by his fellow officers for getting beat up by a girl. They dont believe him that they were men in womens clothes, as all the evidence he has is a shoe. He goes on a search for these "freaks" at ballet schools and flower shops hmhm.

Major drama with Virgil and Caroll Ann. He's a wife beating tyrant. Vieta witnesses some verbal abuse, and Carroll Ann crying. She tries to talk to Carroll Ann about it, but it's useless. While lounging around that evening, as Chichi and Bobby Lee (carroll ann and virgils daughter) are both dreaming of Bobby Ray. Bobby Lee told Vieta bout her crush, but Chichi doesnt know. Bobby ray comes up to the porch and asks Chichi to be his date for the social. Bobby Lee is traumatized, and Chichi accepts the date offer. The girls go up to their room, and get in a fight over Chichi going out with Bobby Ray. Vieta is mad that Chichi is decieving him. There are mean words, Vieta is upset, and then she hears Virgil beating Carroll Ann. She puts on a pretty pink silky night jacket, and stomps into thier room. Carroll Ann tries to get her to leave, she's crying and desheveled. Vieta pushes her out of the room.

(vieta)::So Virgil, I see you like to hit ladies.::

(virgil)::Some ladies need to get hit.

(vieta)::Some men need to get hit.::

And she totally kicks his bum. We then see Virgil walking into the bar. He sits down, guess who's sitting next to him with a ladies shoe? Sherrif Dollard of course. The girls and Carroll Ann and Bobby Lee are all sitting in the kitchen (virgils house) talking and laughing and drinking, happy that Virgils gone. Chichi tells Bobby Lee that she can have Bobby Ray, and me and Ben feel all warm and mooshy.

They are waken up the morning of the strawberry social by Sherrif Dollard shouting into a loud speaker for the freaks to come out, etc. Virgil is hanging there in the background too. No one is out on the street, there's just empty decorated tables. He screams into the loud speaker for awhile, and a figure all in red, covered with a red veil, comes out of Virgils house, and walks slowly towards the sherrif.

As the vision in red removes her veil, you're surprised to see that it's Carrol Ann!! She says SHE is the drag queen. Virgil and the sherrif are confused. All of a sudden everyone emerges, the new and improved town members have grown from just two days with some drag queens. The rude dudes who were hitting on them and being gross are now being polite and cool. The folk are all in red, acting flaming and proud, they all walk up to the sherrif, all claiming to be the drag queen who owns the shoe he's clinging to. Basically they run the sherrif out of the town.

They all party and act sexy and fun dancing on the tables, me and Ben get so excited we're crawling up the walls.

Carrol Ann manages to fix the car, and while she and Vieta are standing there, saying their goodbyes, she reviels that she knew all along they were queens, because of their adams apples. (none of the other towns folk figured it out until the sherrif came). It's all very emotional and lovely.

The girls make it to Hollywood, and I wont reviel wich out of the three wins the Drag Queen of the Universe award, but I will say, it's a perfect, makes you tingely, ending of the movie, as JULIE NEWMAR places the crown on the victor!!!!! (Ben and I cheer!)


Ah what a pleasure this movie is for me. My boyfriend tells me I'm a drag queen in a girlys body, and I do not dispute this.

I think most people would enjoy this movie.