This Box Rox...er...Rocks!

Author's Rating:

Pros: It's heavy, awesome games, great controllers, it has Master Chief.

Cons: It could break your toe, there's no Zelda, you may be stuck to the TV

The Bottom Line: 
Excellent value, Microsoft loses $$ on every one! Great gaming system.

Author's Review
OMG! Has Anyone Bought One of These Yet?!
Just Kidding! Man, these have been out for, what, almost five years? And the only real competition, is, *GASP*, Xbox 360 Yeah, I like to wait until the system is past its prime, and the NEXT Generation comes out, and everyone and their mom has written a review on it, before I write my review. Well, no, no not really. But that's how long I have waited, so sue me.

Out of the Box And Into the Hall of Fame
I know I am probably the last in line of a million reviews on a great piece of...no, not that, Hardware. True, some of you may have called your own Box that very descriptive term you were just thinking. So read on and maybe it's been long enough from release that some of you who junked the first version might be persuaded to try the latest. [(In a soothing, calm psychiatrist voice...) Try to remember your feelings when you first took it out of the box. Let's replay those feelings, and go to the store. Then pull out your wallet and give the nice cashier your money.] See? All better.

Your New Xbox!
I happened to get my Xbox for free; I know you say,"Whatever." That's okay. You don't have to believe me, but I did. The brown truck left and I was clicking my heels with joy! My very own black and green shiny box. It came with the *Xbox*, a power cable, an A/V cable, a pretty weak instruction manual,(Not much in describing the features of your new toy.) and a new S-controller. Oh, and lots-o styrofoam and plastic. If you look deeper in the box, sometimes there's a $100 dollar bill taped to the side...not really, but that's how I felt about my new system...

Plug 'n' Play
Rush your Xbox over to your giant TV and plug it into those red, white and yellow plugs in the back(or the front), plug in the power cord, plug in your controller, and find a game to put in! Luckily, I managed to have a copy of Halo lying around, that for some reason I bought on ebay, just in case my free Xbox came. (It did!)

Pressing either of the buttons on the front of the box will cause it to power up, but the big one opens its hungry mouth. Pop in a yummy game, press the big button again and let it rip! The first time you turn it on, it will ask you to input the time and date, you can simply press the A button on the controller to skip it all, but this will give you incorrect times and dates on you save files. ( But who knows, maybe the Microsoft engineers programmed it to break down at a certain date). All conspiracy theories aside, just do it, you lazy bum.

The Ho-Hum
I will not even try to impress you with the specs on the beast, surely you've read other reviews, but I will tell you what matters: the Xbox is the most powerful gaming machine of its generation, hands down. It has a 733MHz brain, which surpasses the Gamecube by a couple hundred MHz, and the PS2 by yet another 100 or so. The PS2 has more games and a bigger fan base, the Cube has very good graphics, but the game size is limited to the small disc size, and the third party games are weak. So the Xbox makes good gaming sense.

Let the Games Begin!
Games for the Xbox are varied in quality and genre, with games like Halo and Fable being in the top and games like Dinotopia and Spyhunter being in the lower class citizens.
There are all kinds of games for your new pet. Sports, action, simulation, shooters and RPGs, though I think the RPG category is lacking a little. I'm not a big fan of them myself, with Fable being the exception. The games (for the most part) are beautifully rendered, the sound is amazing, and the gameplay is seamless. Of course, you realize, that this is greatly due to the game designers and their ability to utilize the system to its fullest. If they don't know or care what they are doing: sucky game.

Just take a trip to your local used game store and take a gander at all of the choices you have in the game department. And many choices are under $10! Gollllllly!

Creature Features
Power up the Box with no game in it and you will see the dashboard. This lets you see how much memory has been used, (I still have not seen a dent in the 50,000 blocks available), play and burn cd's to your built in hard drive, connect to a network; either a local area network or to the internet, and finally you may change any of the settings. This is where you can finally set the time and date, you lazy bum.
Actually, after I have packed up my Box to take it to a LAN party, if it is without power long enough, I may have to
reset the time and date, but all of my game saves are still intact.

The controllers are easy to use, have built in vibration, and have a nice button layout...with two shoulder triggers,
six standard buttons, a d-pad, and two analog sticks that
both have a click feature to add two more buttons. The S-type controllers are superior to the old style, because of the smaller size and better layout of the buttons. They feel nice in your hands as you shoot stuff, or punchkick, or fly-drive-tackle. They also have two ports in the front to plug in a memory card and/or your voice comm. which you can use during online play. The eight or nine foot cords have a break-away feature unique to Xbox. There is a spot in the cord on the plug end that will disconnect should your dopey brother trip over it. It will break free instead of sending your whole system crashing down. There are four ports to plug in your controllers on the Box, so you can have a blast with three of your friends.

Online Content
There are many games out there for Xbox that are Online-Enabled. Some of them are simply to be able to post your score or status, but not actually be able to play with other users. Most online games though allow online gaming through the Xbox Live service. The charge for this service varies, depending on how much you buy at once. If you buy a year's worth, it's about $60. With this service, you can play up to 15 other people in some games for an all out frenzy! Online play is not subject to the ESRB rating on the box.

Accesorize Your Prize
The amount of accesories available today for the Xbox is rather amazing. There are after-market controllers, memory packs, carry cases, decals, controller cord extensions, all sorts of stuff.

I would not recommend third party controllers, even though they are much cheaper. With these, you get what you pay for. *coughcrap* They break in no time, and leave you hanging. Spend the extra $10 for an Xbox one, and you'll be happy. The only exception to this would be the Logitech Cordless controller. Read the review.

Memory packs offer you a chance to take your game to your friend's house to wup up on him there. They come in various sizes, 8MB, 32MB 64MB and probably a few more. Price depends on size and manufacturer, say $10-$30.

Don't forget your DVD remote, which is the only way your Xbox will play DVDs. I use my Xbox as a back-up player when my real one craps out. The box has yet to see a disc it won't read, and the Dolby 5.1 Surround sound puts it to ya, assuming of course, that you have a home theater system.

Would a Cowboy Buy It?
What kind of question is that?! If he's go any durn sense in 'im he'd git fur of 'em one fur each a his famlee. The Xbox
is a nice system for the $150 you put out for a brand new one. It ain't perfect, but it is very good for your brain deadening pleasure. (Actually, it may help your hand-eye co-ordination, so you can flip those burgers better, build that house faster, or just beat on your brother with more agility.) Whatever your vocation, class, gender or IQ, there is something for everyone here at Xbox. Thank you thank you.

Okay, now where do I sign this check from Microsoft...OH, is this thing still on?...