What a mess...

Author's Rating:

Pros: What an engine... perfection! Great drive too!

Cons: Everything else!

The Bottom Line: 
Don't buy it unless you HAVE TO have it.

Author's Review
I am just mind-boggled. This car confuses me and it's frustrating. I only hope I can sum this up in very little writing because I will begin to blab when I get into the details of this... Frankenstein monster...

I have no idea how to put my love/hate relationship with this car into words. I do not own one, even if I had the money I wouldn't bother buying one. Not to say it isn't a good car. Just reading this you will have to know your priorities when buying a car for this much money.

Style
I have to start with style because it just bothers me and the words are pouring out of my mouth. First sight I loved the look of this car. It was new, fresh, unique... and 10 minutes later I was over it. You are paying $70,000 for this machine and it looks like it could be any other car on the road. Not only that, it's ugly. The front looks like it's crying... probably because old 5 serious owners are bashing it so much. I don't blame them though... the new designer ruined BMW. It was inevitable that BMW was going to try something new... but come on... know your audience. I would rather have a Mazda 6 than this car. $40,000 less for a better looking car. The interior isn't anything special either. No old person will drive this car because it is the most confusing thing I've ever seen. Ya, it is pretty and classy and luxurious but it is so technological... not in a good way. Ergonomics are nice and the sport seats are very sporty... which can actually ruin the drive thanks to the suspension. All in all, the design is horrific and no one should buy this car on looks...

Drive
The other side of the car which is the love side. The model my friend somehow allowed me to drive was the V8 550i. And what an engine it is. It is a show off machine with 300 and something horsepower. It does guzzle gas but when you're in this price range that's not a problem. It was the automatic transmission which was nice, but boring. I wish my friend wasn't so old manish and knew how to have fun. Then he would have gotten the beautifully matched 6spd. Providing more power from start, in 6th gear, than 4 of my Honda Accord engines . The suspension is firm and sporty and it's like driving a large coupe. Practicality of four doors with the feeling of a tiny, low coupe. Heavenly... I think. Though the steering is spot on the ride is quite uncomfortable. It's the sacrifice you make for sport suspension. You feel every bump on the road. EVERY BUMP. I think it's worth the loss of comfort for the performance machine capabilities. But that is not meeting the needs of the 5 series' target audience. In fact, nothing but the engine meets their needs. Kind of sad... I wonder how they completely lost track of business sense when spending this amount of money producing a vehicle. Here's where the car goes completely down the toilet. I would not be writing about how this car drives if I didn't spend an hour reading the manual. The iDrive system caused me to take three hours just to start the car! I am fairly technologically handy but this made me want to put it in neutral and push it into a lake. It would be hard though without power steering. The iDrive system will appear again for me to tell you why I will never drive a BMW with it.

Safety
Of course this has everything. Side, front, passenger, curtain airbags as expected. Also all the traction control gizmos and such to make the rear wheel drive bearable during the winter season. Although, with the standard sport tires you will need winter tires no matter what. That is a lot of money to spend if you choose to lease this car, but it is a must. It has the ABS and all those lovely technological safety providers. I can't go into much more detail then telling you that this car is as safe as most cars get. It even has a stiff body that feels quite strong. Where you lose safety is the stupid iDrive system. They make you promise you won't use it when you are moving, but you need to go through like 2 different menus to change the volume. My favourite song came on and I needed to ask my friend to turn up the radio. If he wasn't there I would have either missed my favourite song or crashed his new BMW... again, why did he let me drive it? And we all know the choice I would have made. This car has no practicality to it...

So it's ugly, generic, and confusing... what next?

Reliability
Nope, I can't be too negative here. BMW is known for pretty reliable cars... pretty close to Japanese engineering... but still not quite as good. The issue is when there is a repair, it will cost you a fortune. And despite the amount of money you payed for the car you will be treated no better than how a Honda dealer would if you bought a Civic. Though, Honda dealers I have dealt with are generally astoundingly good with their customers. So it's not a great comparison but it's a comparison none the less. But ya, pricey repairs are something to watch out for. I would be more worried about the iDrive causing you to crash and have to a pay a fortune fixing the body damage.

Recommendation
Here is the biggest problem for me. Generally, noone likes people who own BMWs. BMW owners are classified as heartless business owners, lawyers, and accountants. Sorry, but that just shows how much a car impacts people's opinion of you. BMWs are like mowing on the lawn in big letters, "BUSINESS IS GOOD AND YOU ALL SUCK". Nothing wrong with that, some people find bragging attractive. It depends on your audience. Honestly, knowing I will never be able to afford this car, I have to tell you that cars for half the price are just as good. I would buy an Acura TL before I bought this. But I generally don't care what people think of me since I drive a 1997 Accord with Spongebob Squarepants seat covers. I buy cars for what I like and that is what you should do too in this case. Mercedes is crap, and we don't get many luxury italians in this price range. To be honest, I wouldn't bother paying $70-80,000 for a 4 door sedan. I'd rather buy the Audi S4 cabriolet. Same price, but a convertible and almost as powerful engine (smaller car). Similar engineering and a much more attractive car. It takes the boring out of Audi. So I don't know how to spend that kind of money but I can tell you that if you don't mind a lot of flaws and you want a beastly powerful sedan, this is a good choice. Shop around though... it is a lot of money. I'd rather get 4 $20,000 cars.

The choice is yours. I won't like you if you buy this car, but you won't like me because I'm not rich and can't compete with your money. It's the circle of life. I'm willing to live with it. Some people are willing to waste their money on a car like this. And so, from my perspective, the "not ever able to spend this kind of money" perspective, don't buy this car!

Update: Apparently I got the model wrong, oh well, listen, I'm obviously not an expert... I'm some idiot sitting at my computer with an opinion of a car I drove... sitting next to the owner of course... and I'm telling you, whether I'm right or wrong, what I feel comes with this car... and I sorry, my radio story was wrong, the volume story was a different car... in this car I hated the song on the radio and wanted to change the channel but I couldn't... oops... also the Audi v8 is 340hp and the bimmer is 360hp... oops again, it happens... sorry for the error...